One of the things that help us connect as humans are the pain that we feel. It doesn’t matter whether it’s emotional or physical pain. We’ve all been hurt. The difference, though, is how you deal with the pain. Pain can prevent you from healing, and that’s simply a sign that you aren’t moving forward positively.
18 Ways to Be Happy by Letting Go and Moving on
#1. Use Mantras to Let Go Your past
All told, you should probably have a long list of mantras for various issues. However, if you choose the right ones, they will do for just about any situation. When you are faced with emotional pain, your most likely response is disbelief that this is happening to you. Instead, you should tell yourself that you’re fortunate to be able to choose a different path. (Source)
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#2. Create Physical Distance
When you are dealing with a stressful situation, a hurtful person or an upsetting circumstance, putting physical distance between you and it only makes sense. It might sound silly, but there is something to be said for creating space. It allows you time to process what is going on without having to look at it directly.
#3. Let Your Negativity Flow
Are you afraid of experiencing negative emotions? Then, you probably avoid them. You pop them into a box and file them away in the back of your brain. You aren’t the only person who does this. No one enjoys feeling sad, angry or disappointed (okay, some people might). There is something to be said for feeling those emotions instead of just shutting them down. You can’t let go of them until you’ve let them flow. (Source)
#4. Learn How to Be Mindful and Let Go
Mindfulness is an excellent way to bring your attention to the present. That’s what it’s all about. So, learning how to be mindful is one of the most effective ways for you to learn how to get go. (Source)
#5. Let Go of Pleasing and Love Yourself
When you find it difficult to let go of something, how do you respond to yourself? If your first instinct is to criticize, then it’s time for you to show yourself some compassion and extend kindness, just as you would to a friend sharing their troubles.
We are often our own worst enemy in terms of demanding perfection. Your journey is your own, and you deserve the same level of compassion as everyone else does. You cannot avoid pain in this life, but you can treat yourself to tender, loving, kindness when you are faced with hurt.
#6. Be Grateful For What You Already Have
Ultimately, there is nothing you can do about the behavior of others. The only thing you can focus on is you, which means you have to do your work. It’s up to you to choose to address the pain and hurt that you have experienced. So, when you think of the situation or the person that brought you pain, you should draw your attention back to the here and now and focus on three things that you’re truly grateful for.
#7. Move Forward Without an Apology
This doesn’t mean what you think it does. What you have to accept is that not everyone will apologize for doing you wrong. You still have to forgive them and move on from it. You are the only person who can be responsible for your healing process. Part of that… is accepting that certain people will never acknowledge they did you wrong. That’s just life. (Source)
#8. Respect Yourself Enough To Move On
When you hurt, it can feel as though there is nothing else out there but more pain. Self-care is a way for you to look after yourself, to set boundaries, to say no when there’s nothing left to give, and to provide you with comfort and joy. You have to start listening to your own needs and the more that you can do that daily, the more empowered you will be. Those pains suddenly won’t feel quite as overwhelming as they did before.
#9. Surround Yourself with Positive People
Your social network is important. If you surround yourself with people who like to whine and complain about everything all of the time, then you will do the same thing. So, limit the time you spend with people like that and make sure there are supportive, positive people in your life. Now, it’s okay to vent with friends, and it’s okay to be someone to lean on. Know when it’s healthy venting and when it’s damaging.
#10. Why Is It Good to Express Your Feelings?
You should always allow yourself the time and opportunity to discuss a painful situation or hurt feelings. You can talk about it. Some people struggle to let go because they can’t talk about it so, instead they bottle it up. It might be due to embarrassment or shame. Either way, if you don’t feel comfortable unloading on a friend, seek out a therapist.
#11. Give Yourself Permission to Forgive
In addition to offering yourself permission to speak on your pain, you have to give yourself permission to forgive and move on.
The forgiveness that you need permission to give is forgiveness for yourself. We often forgive offers long before we provide ourselves with the same kindness. It’s so important to the healing process because, in forgiveness, you can let of sadness, anger, shame, and guilt.(Source)
“Forgiving someone means making peace with what happened. It means acknowledging your wound, giving yourself permission to feel the pain, and recognizing why that pain no longer serves you. It means letting go of the hurt and resentment so that you can heal and move on.” ~Daniell Koepke
#12. Accepting Others for Who They Are
As you learn to accept yourself as you are you must also do the same for others. By now you know that life never goes exactly as you have planned it. That’s okay, it’s normal. The same idea goes for the people in your life. They won’t behave the way you want them to, nor will they always behave the way you expect them to. It’s just something that you need to accept.
#13. Don’t Get Caught up in Outcomes
Don’t get caught up investing in outcomes, particularly when there are other people involved. It only leads to pain and disappointment. Your expectations set you up for disappointment. When they are not met, your emotions are overwhelmed and it’s something for you to obsess about.
#14. You Can’t Control How Other People Act or Do
Imagine yourself standing with a piece of chalk, now use it to draw a circle around yourself. That is your circle of control. So, let go of this idea that you can influence that and embrace your circle of control.
Sure, you can attract people into your circle, but still, there’s only so much control you have.
#15. What to Do After Failing?
Have you said something that you wish you could take back? Was it a dumb comment in a meeting? Did you make a mistake at work or forget an appointment? It’s not ideal, is it? It is okay, though. Use the experience as a lesson and learn to laugh it off. No one is perfect, and when you fail or make mistakes, you’re just human. It’s about bouncing back.
#16. Accept The Unchangeable
You can’t change everything, and you have to accept that. There is no benefit to wishing for what has gone before. Life is happening now, right outside your window. You’re missing out when you spend time thinking about the past or wishing for a future that can’t happen. You can make decisions and take actions that will help you shape your future, though, and that starts right now.
#17. Scare Yourself and Let Go of Fear and Anxiety
Let go of your fears and go out of your way to do something that scares you. Live a little. What better way to let it all go than to throw yourself into something that you find utterly terrifying.
#18. What Can a Therapist Help With?
There are times you will deal with pain so profound that you are unable to overcome it on your own. If you are faced with this type of event, you would do well to seek out the professional help of a therapist. This is a person who is trained to guide you through any journey.
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It’s Time to Do Yourself a Favor
You’ve been holding on to all of this pain for so long, and it feels too comfortable.
Your pain has become your friend. Your life should not be defined by your pain. It isn’t healthy or helpful to add to your stress. It impacts your ability to work, focus, live happily and to function in relationships. The longer you choose to hold onto that pain, the longer everyone else has to live with you being someone you aren’t. They also have to live with your choice to hold onto the past.
It will take practice, and it will take time to learn to let go. However, it is one that is worth it. So, be kind as you practice how to refocus your attention to a situation.
Don’t forget to celebrate every victory you have, even if it’s just a small one. Just do yourself a favor and just let it go.
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