Build & Raise Your Emotional Intelligence Skills
What exactly do we mean by emotional intelligence skills? This construct is a form of social intelligence and encompasses your ability to understand and navigate your own emotions, to recognize and empathize with the feelings of others, and to use your emotions to help guide your thoughts and actions.
Emotional intelligence can help you accomplish your goals as well as be a better colleague, partner, parent, and friend. (Source)
The Skills of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is not just one skill. It is, instead, the combination of many different competencies that combine to provide you with emotional intelligence.
These competencies can be grouped into four major categories, including self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and productive relationship management.
When you make efforts to improve your emotional intelligence, you can enjoy many benefits across all aspects of your life. In addition to having more relationships and more meaningful relationships, emotionally intelligent people are often able to achieve more, even when they have fewer intellectual skills or life experiences. Emotional intelligence can benefit both your personal and professional life.(Source)
What Are the Emotional Intelligence Skills?
The skills involved in emotional intelligence are ones you can develop and practice, providing you with increased awareness of not only yourself but of others, and helping you make better, healthier decisions in your life.
- Think about your feelings- Self-awareness of your emotions, including the cause and effect of them.
- Think before you react- Allowing time to process your feelings, so you do not make decisions solely based on them.
- Control your reactions to emotions- Exercising control over your thoughts about your emotions as well as your response to emotional situations.(Source)
- Accept critical feedback- Understanding that criticism is an opportunity to learn and grow.
- Be authentic- Allowing your principles and values to guide your life, not compromising yourself for others.
- Practice empathy- Connect with others through empathetic thoughts and actions.
Suspend judgment and look for alternate perspectives.
- Appreciate others- Provide acknowledgment and appreciation for others to help build trust and communicate praise.
- Provide helpful feedback- Offer constructive criticism that is aimed to guide improvement while also maintaining the person’s dignity and trust.
- Accept when you have wronged- Apologize when necessary, which shows your humility and ability to learn from your mistakes.
Provide forgiveness- Release resentment, which can keep wounds from healing, and move on with your life.
- Honor your commitments- Keep your word when you make promises to others, which earns you a reputation for being trustworthy and reliable.
- Help others- Providing assistance to others helps them as well as you. A willingness to lend a hand shows your character and inspires others.
- Protect yourself- Awareness of others’ motives and intentions keeps you safe from emotional sabotage and other darker motives.
No matter your own emotional tendencies, personality, or current emotional state, you can learn these emotional intelligence skills and practice them regularly, which will raise your emotional intelligence.
The 25 personal challenges outlined in our course are designed to provide learning experiences that will increase these skills and others that comprise your emotional intelligence.
5 Components Of Emotional Intelligence Skills
Your overall health is composed of several areas of wellness, including emotional wellness. But what constitutes emotional wellness? These five aspects of emotional wellness have been identified by the National Institute of Health.
While this article aims to offer a brief introduction to this topic and so will not go into great detail on how to improve aspects of your emotional wellness, identifying which of them maybe areas of concern for you can help you identify solutions or resources for further study.(Source)
Emotional Wellness and Your Outlook on Life
- form relationships differently,
- find stress in different places,
- cope with loss differently,
- understand yourself differently,
if you see yourself as a puppet of fate, a master of your own destiny, or anywhere in between.
Your outlook also includes how you see yourself in relation to other people, which can play a huge part in how you form relationships with those around you.
Emotional Intelligence Skills and Your Relationships
Relationships with romantic interests, friends, coworkers, family members, and even strangers can have a strong impact on emotional wellness. It can be supportive, harmful, or challenging. They can help you out of trouble or get you into it.
Sometimes honing your relationships for better emotional health means pruning less healthy relationships, while other times it means nurturing or pursuing healthier relationships.
Understanding other people and where they come from is important to healthier short-term relationships with people that you bump into every day. This skill is reliant on a realistic outlook.(Source)
Emotional Impact of Stress
Stress can come from issues or imbalances in any of the other aspects of emotional wellness and how you handle it can have serious implications for your emotional and physical wellness.
Your stress and emotional health are closely related. Lots of stress can upset your emotional health. Strong emotional health can contribute to controlling stress – but lots of stress can also make you feel physically worse.
Fortunately, developing a better outlook, fostering healthier relationships, developing coping mechanisms, and practicing mindfulness can all help to decrease stress.(Source)
How to Cope with Grief and Loss
People usually think about coping in terms of recovering from the loss of a loved one, but the loss of a job, of property, of opportunities, can all be traumatic experiences with painful recovery. Also, like stress, grief can have physical symptoms as well as emotional symptoms.
Your outlook and mindfulness can impact your coping mechanisms, stress and coping can impact each other, and your healthy relationships can help you to cope in quicker and healthier ways.(Source)
Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence
This aspect of emotional wellness refers to how well you understand your own mental and emotional health. While there are some systems of understanding and control that make mindfulness easier to wrap your head around, it’s less about learning and more about paying attention.
Some people lose touch with their mindfulness because they feel that their emotional health is unimportant. Others may feel that an unhealthy level of emotional distress may be normal, and therefore does not need to be addressed.
Of the other aspects of emotional wellness, mindfulness is most closely tied to stress: the higher your level of mindfulness, the lower your stress.
Hopefully, this brief introduction to the aspects of emotional health will help you to increase your own emotional health and reap the wide array of benefits, both emotional and physical.(Source)
5 Steps To Improve Your Emotional Intelligence Skills
One of the quickest ways to have problems with your emotional health is to take it for granted.
These days, many of us don’t pay as much attention to our emotional health as we should, whether it is because:
- we undervalue it,
- focus on other things,
- figure that if it was bad enough to worry about, we would notice it.
The problem with this, is that emotional health problems don’t always come on all of a sudden. While a sudden trauma might upset your mental health in a hurry, problems are more often caused by gradual changes.
When change happens gradually, we are more likely to assume that things have always been that way, who can lead to potential problems going unaddressed. That’s why it’s important to practice emotional awareness all the time, not just when we already think that something is already wrong.(Source)
1. Ask Yourself How You Are Feeling
Being aware of our own emotions can be very similar to being aware of other people’s emotions. It making us more able to avoid stress by making us more aware of emotional repercussions to various circumstances. We can check our own emotional wellness in much the same way that we the check emotional wellness of others: by asking.
When other people ask you how you are doing, it can be most efficient and polite to just say “okay” or “fine”. But if you literally ask yourself the same, you may reply with something a little more informative.
You don’t have to carry on a whole conversation with yourself. Just ask yourself “How are you doing?” and if you respond with “Well, I’ve been better,” it might be something to spend more time thinking about.
2. Be More Comfortable Talking About Your Own Feelings
Consider stating how you feel with statements like “I’m glad to hear that,” or “that makes me frustrated.” This kind of talking about your own feelings helps you focus and think more about how you feel and how you react to things, but it also will help other people to understand how you are feeling.
It’s important to keep focused on the topic, however, as it can be carried away. When your “I’s” get too close together it can become rude, but it may also distort your outlook and lead you to think about yourself too much.
3. Look After Your Mental Health Using Mindfulness
Another great way to stay aware of your emotional wellness is through mindfulness. This practice encourages you to be aware of your thoughts and feelings, as well as how they make you feel physically, particularly through tense muscles and changed breathing.
Many of these practices also include exercises that teach you to control your breathing and relax your muscles to decrease your level of stress and increase your emotional health. Fortunately, mindfulness is increasing in popularity these days, so the internet is full of quality resources and mobile apps full of information and tools.
If you are concerned about trusting these resources, or just want to be sure that you are finding the best available resources, consider talking to your primary care provider about your interest in learning more about mindfulness. While not all doctors are likely to be experts in the field, most will be able to give you helpful advice in furthering your own research.(Source)
4. Meditation Is Amazing for Your Mental Health
Many people are reluctant to get into meditation because it often has religious connotations. While the oldest forms of meditation are explicitly religious, more modern forms of meditation focus exclusively on the secular benefits of meditation.
Related to but slightly different from mindfulness, mediation involves taking a part of the day, as little as a few minutes, to clear your mind.
Clearing your mind can bring its own benefits, although it is very difficult. Recognizing what thoughts or feelings make it difficult to clear your mind can help you to recognize which things in your life are giving you the most trouble.
There are a lot of great resources online regarding meditation. The best place to start may be a friendly conversation with your primary care provider.(Source)
5. Boost Your Mental Health with Expressive Writing
Unexpected life developments, stress, illness, or a layoff can throw you off stride mentally and emotionally. Writing about thoughts and feelings that arise from a traumatic or stressful life experience may help you cope
Many people who write fiction find that they include aspects of their own lives in their stories and characters. Writing yourself, especially fiction, can help you to express your feelings in a safe and healthy way. Re-reading your own work can also help you to see your own experiences from a new perspective.
This can help you to understand your feelings and can allow you to identify creative solutions to your problems.
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